the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
