It's just like the Real World with babies
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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