u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
