I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
