I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
