im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
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Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
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We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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