theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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