I was born with a shot glass in my hand
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize