So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
There are leaves in my underwear?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
