I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
