I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
cat food counts as protein by the way
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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