She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
