just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Semen is not good for contacts.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
