My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Randomize
