I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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