You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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