I want to make a zoo with you.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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