saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I could fuck to npr.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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