We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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