Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
