I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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