areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
