Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
