I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
