so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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