I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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