This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Pappa wants mamma naked
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
