I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
