she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
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