We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Randomize
