Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize