PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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