the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
