pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
it hurts more in the daytime
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
