My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
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I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
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Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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