I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I am midnight drunk by noon
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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