I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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