you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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