okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
