Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Randomize
