She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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