So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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