I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
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