I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize