booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
