i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
