I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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