so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
