If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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