My first STD was from a foam party
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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