Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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