I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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