so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
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