the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
People in love make me want to vomit
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
We have started to decorate penises.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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