He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize