i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
