we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
