just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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