Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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