VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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