ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize